Getting nowhere...

6 May 2008 at 11:31
18 comments

Well, I had what turned out to be my last therapy session last week.

My therapist felt that my resistance was too high, and that I needed some time out for my subconscious to relax and maybe let out the big secret on its own.

She's convinced there is something hiding though, because of the strong emotions that have come out, and the memories all have a theme.

She also felt that doing the therapy and the stress it's causing might be manifesting itself in my inability to run anything further than 2 miles at the moment. I'm still seeing the docs this week - going to be brave and have my blood taken.

I think I've found the reason for my lack of weight loss however. Basically at weekends, I haven't been counting points, on the basis that the amount of running I was doing was earning me plenty of bonus points to allow for a few treats. However, last week, I bought an eating out guide, and where I thought I was making sensible meal choices, well, it turns out that it is nigh on impossible to have any main course in most restaurants for less than around 15 points.

So this has been the problem - where I have been earning maybe 20 bonus points, I've actually been eating around 40 extra points over the space of a weekend, with a couple of meals out. Therefore, I need to not eat out, which is hard, because I love going for meals out.

Anyway, I lost 1.5lb, of the 5lb or so that I put on over Easter, but am hopeful that I will lose again this week. I am not doing as much exercise, and trying to count points over the weekend. We had no meals out this weekend, and I stuck to salads and vegetables at the birthday party at the weekend. I did have some cake, but I think I'll be okay.

So, basically - no eating out, or if I do, one course only, and choose beforehand if I can.

And I have to stop drinking again.

18 comments

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At the risk of going on about something without knowing all the facts - your therapist sounds like a right lulu in that she reckons that it's your resistance that's too high which is why things haven't happened. Maybe it's not your resistance, maybe there is no big secret, maybe you are just as you are - which doesn't mean that you can't alter your behaviour but there isn't necessarily something nasty in your woodshed. Maybe your memories do have a theme - you sought therapy for a specific theme - to do with food and weight. Sometimes life is as it is and it's learning how to live with it. Which is rich coming from me because it's taken me the best part of 5 years to reach some sort of place.....

I'll go back to my room now.

I did say that to her - that I didn't think there was anything in my mental closet, but she feels that, because there have been some strong emotions coming out, and recollections, that there is a theme that all groups them together, but that I haven't been able to get to what that is yet.

She's asked me to contact her in a few months time to see how I'm getting on.

I can't help thinking you're right - that the only damage done was being put on a diet at 8, and constantly being nagged at for being overweight etc.

Paul Mckenna helped me lose 1 stone, whilst still eating out. Its worth thinking about x

yes, me too.

yeah, and yum.

I guess it's worth a try, seeing as there is no apparent underlying reason for my overeating...

[this is good]

Maybe try a different therapist? Not that I know anything about anything but I think it might be worthwhile continuing for a little longer. These things can take time and the right person to help you.

Runnergirl replied to Red Shoes’ comment:
7 days ago
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I'm not sure - I trust her, and her methods and she's had some good results with other clients. I've spent so much money on this now that I want to at least give it the couple of months she's suggested, and then see where I am when we get back from our Summer holiday in July.

I am not a therapist but didn't I read the other day that you weren't allowed to eat sweets when you were little? Or that you got in trouble for it or something?

Maybe what your lady is building up as a hige traumatic event was something that might not seem that huge to us now we're adults but to a child would be enormously damaging?

I raised that with her - and asked if my whole food guilt wasn't just because of the way I was brought up, and she said that's usually not the case. Usually it's due to something unrelated that manifests itself in various mannerisms - overeating, picking my fingers etc.

Faaaaaak, that is deep. What happens when you discover the root cause? Will it automatically make your behaviour change? Will it traumatise you all over again? I love a bit of therapy, I'm just intrigued as to what purpose knowing would serve? I am fascinated, because a huge proportion of us emotionally eat, and I've always believed it was more of a mass influence/cultural thing, as opposed to a 'one day this happened and as a result I can't stop eating crisps' thing.

We are a product of our experiences, good and bad. Understanding why you do something is not the same as understanding why you developed the coping mechanism/self-soothe in the first place. I am looking forward to hearing about the next installment of your journey.

She basically said that it was something I probably couldn't handle as a child, so I repressed it... and that caused the anxiety that manifests itself... however, as an adult I am more able to process it, and the emotions that go with it. She said that most of her clients feel like a weight (ha!) has been lifted from their shoulders, and that they've been happier, and have managed to lose weight and maintain it.

fascinating stuff. i wonder what made me stuff my face other than my mum saying 'have a biscuit, it'll cheer you up', and 'finish everything on your plate otherwise you'll look ungrateful'

i hope whatever it is isn't too traumatic and you will be able to process it as an adult and get the results you long for. good luck xxx

I have great memories of my mum suggesting I have a gin because it would make me feel better. It was 10.05am. The reason I know the time is because we were stuck at a railway station in the snow waiting for a train for me to go and meet Mr Pork when he was but a boyfriend. We both had a gin and it did make us feel better.

your mum sounds like my kinda woman

We shall see. I am reserving judgement, and in the meantime trying to take some responsibility for my overeating, rather than blaming it on other people/causes.

Overeating, picking fingers, etc. That's me too. My only experience with a therapist (just one session) for something else was rubbish - she kept delving for a 'cause' when I told her the cause outright. I was depressed because of a very specific point and she just couldn't believe that - she had to go all freudian. Which undermined me in a way because it was like her saying 'no, that's just not enough'.

Weekend eating is also my downfall, but I'd be happy with 1.5lbs in a week - that's fine to me. Slow and steady wins the race...

I wish you the best of luck with everything. I also think Em's on to something with what she said - trust yourself most of all, and less your therapist.

Getting nowhere...

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